venting Sucks

i dont want to throw my problems onto my friends and family. i dont know how to properly express my feelings anyways ESPECIALLY irl. making facial expressions, controlling my tone, whatever it is i suck at it. i think i am extremely oblivious in social situations as well. but socialization is so hard id rather do it behind a screen! euauhg!! and people love assuming who i am and what im feeling. ive always been called a quiet smart girl and if i do anything that makes anyone think otherwise all of a sudden i need therapy and im Immature. like what the hell do you want from me? what sucks even more is that i forget all of my issues when im around people. when im hanging out it all just disappears until im alone again . so literally what is the point of venting when im going to just repeat myself over and over again 💔

ive made way too many blogs about this yet i refuse to fix myself whatsoever . i deleted them all because how insufferable is it seeing someone post the same sob story with no change? "wahh im so manipulative!" "wahh im so lonely!!" "i wanna work on myself but im so hardheaded i dont want to listen to anyone giving me advice or put in any effort fixing myself!!" its so fucking annoying seriously i do not blame anyone for not adding me because i am so insufferable on here . im probably going to do it again . kms