navigating twenties.. with depression & derealization

7/29/25

Tuesday.

time reads 6:36/18:36,

hello again.. im not supposed to be back writing here, but somehow, i feel overwhelmed with my emotion and this was my first thought. theres nothing wrong with solitude.. i love it, but at  times i wish i wasnt alone.. but everyone has their own lives.. and i dont want to ask anybody for anything else..

i dont know whats going on with my body, but yesterday, i felt this weird feeling take over my body as if i was waking from a dream.. only problem is, i was awake and at a store when it began.. today im feeling very emotional. sooo emotional.. i want to run to the end of the world. i want to hit the edge of sea/land.. i want to meet the stars that whisper to me. i want to give into this depression thats been waiting for me.. 

i want to go MIA.. i want to lose. im so lonely in this life and i dont even gaf anymore. i dont.. 

i had everything i've ever wanted.. everything.. just all at different times.. and now it seems it all has been stripped away from me.. one by one, gone. am i next?

i want to take in all the pain and release..