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sometimes i just like to write walls of text that i know nobody is going to read,,,, i dont know why but everytime i go to therapy i come crashing down. reaching out to people feels so unnecessary because it is literally always the same bullshit. do i succumb to my anxiety? do i hide? i feel so naked when i am vulnerable, nobody deserves to see me. it is pathetic how inside and out i am just the same, i never change. i feel so unreal, so unimportant. people seeing me scares me but i want a social life, i am missing out. im such a loser.
isnt it so angelic
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1nt3rn3t_l0s3r
making friends has been very difficult to me my entire life because it requires a level of emotional nakedness, the kind i think you describe, that i struggle to display.
being vulnurable feels bad to me because i feel like ive allowed somebody to see something im always trying to hide. theres disgust at yourself and tons of shame, and its hard to feel better when you feel it hasnt been lifted off of you but just imparted onto how another person views you.
your blog made me realize im at least not the only person feeling this way, and i hope you can get what you want out of life. really wishing you the best.