xoxo, Gossip Girl: Serena, you suck: Blake Lively or the Writers Fault? Chapter 1

As a brunette woman that grew up insecure in an upper middle class neighborhood, I have absolutely nothing in common with one Serena Van Der Woodsen. She is alluring, confident, stunningly beautiful, and effortlessly cool. Regina George is a sewer rat compared to the beauty and essence that is Serena. Growing up on the Upper East Side in penthouse after penthouse, her wealth knows no bounds. She reeks of opulence and generational wealth masked by a boho-coachella-esc style. She doesn’t have to try to be anything, she just is. Gossip Girl (the in-universe social media platform) was created for her and to share her movements. She is an It Girl, queen of Manhattan, and seemingly does not let it get to her head. She’s nice, she’s fun, she’s beautiful. Is there anything that could possibly be wrong with her? 

It’s simply that. She’s nice fun and beautiful and then what? Nothing. I have studied this series with such verve, I would know if she had quirks, hobbies, passions.  Truth is, she is nothing. She is a shell of a very beautiful person who floats through life without an ounce of ambition towards something she truly wants. It seems the only thing she wants from life is to be loved by someone. I attempt to uncover what makes Serena so easy to hate, and if it's my mere insecurities in comparison to how perfect she is portrayed, or her actions and reactions to the things that occur in her life. 

She's always one to plead innocence in any and all situations she is obviously unintentionally involved in. We are under the impression that before the series started, she was a wild child partier that was the biggest talk of the town. She returns as the 'new' Serena. She's nice and sweet, inclusive, and always one to look on the bright side and stay out of trouble. In comparison to Blair's cold, calculated aura, Serena is warm, bubbly, and an all around ray of sunshine. The thing is, trouble seems to follow her wherever she goes. At first, it seems like it's a series of unfortunate events that put her in a sticky web she has to talk her way out of. 

My biggest problem with Serena is the lack of accountability and the need to run at every moment that makes her look guilty. From the first episode of the series, we see that she slept with Nate, her best friend's boyfriend and presumably future husband. She immediately needed to escape, we find out later that involved running to Georgina, getting into a troubled situation with an OD and a sex tape, and then left for boarding school in which she had an inappropriate relationship with her teacher. Whether or not they had sexual relations, that is none of my business but it's confirmed that they indeed did not consummate their relationship. Regardless, the relationship was extremely inappropriate and Ben deserved to get fired, maybe not go to jail, but lose his teaching position for sure. I digress. Then she fled from that situation just to come back home as the new Serena, still avoiding taking any accountability from any of the situations that made her run in the first place. 

This happens over and over again. Any time things get hard she runs, and if it's not her fault and she is upset with someone else's actions, she says her peace and then leaves the room. Constantly. Nearly every scene where she is forced to have a tough conversation she leaves. Once, fine okay. Twice, sure maybe she's trying to make a dramatic, think about me as I'm walking away and not looking back. Twelve times... it's not cute. Stay for the hard talks. That's what helps progress friendships and relationships. It's annoying to see her have these break ups and make ups without so much as having those difficult and honest conversations. 

The first episode she returns, she makes a plan to talk to Blair and try to hash things out. She was the one to make the plans to have this conversation, it's her turf. She decides to omit any and all information that obviously is bound to come out: her taking Blair's boyfriend's virginity, feeling guilty because she believes she killed a man, having an inappropriate relationship with a teacher, her brother being in a mental hospital for a suicide attempt, etc. 

How does she not expect all of these secrets to come out in a world in which Gossip Girl exists? Everyone is overhearing closed conversations and taking pictures of things that look suspicious. How does she expect to rebuild the relationship she had with Blair if she was not willing to immediately admit to sleeping with her boyfriend? The way I see it, Serena's return to the Upper East Side could go one of two ways: 

1) Admit everything that you have done in attempts to make a mends and rebuild the relationships that the "old" you destroyed before you left

2) Admit nothing, keep your head down, do not even engage with the people of your past, possibly go to a different school, and just stay away from everything. If Serena is not going to be honest about her past and the reason for leaving and all of the things she was involved with, she shouldn't expect to repair any relationship as it would be constructed on the rockiest of grounds. 

Serena is known for making mistakes, but always redeems herself by her charm or flipping her hair a certain way. It's infuriating to watch her get into these situations and not realize or acknowledge that she was in the wrong. It's always, "if I messed up, you messed up more and I'm mad at you now!" (Serena stomps away). Infuriating. These scenes make me want to get up off of my couch and scream at the television: "What are you doing Serena!?!?!?!?!?!" or "Have an honest conversation, Serena!!!!!!" 

Charisma and beauty can only get you so far in life, and Serena has been riding that train for her whole life. 

My other big problem with Serena is her need to be loved. I know that is just part of her characterization, but analyzing her past and her actions throughout the show, her need to be loved is both apparent and detrimental.

Serena and her brother Eric, 2 years younger, were born to parents Lily and William. William left when Serena was around 4 years old, and never so much as left a voicemail. Lily has had many relationships that caused the family to move around a bunch, as well as change the way they live, converting to Islam, going vegan, etc. She has never had a true father figure in her life, and feels as though it's her duty to protect Eric and provide the maternal love that Lily seems to lack. At the start of the show, Lily has been married 3 times, about to be married to Bart Bass, Chuck Bass's father, and is revealed she had an intense romantic relationship with Serena's new boyfriend Dan's father. Lily had a long list of men she was with and has been proposed to too many times to count. Serena doesn't know anything about her father, and he supposedly knows nothing of her. She has other family members that are introduced throughout the series, but are really only important for dramatic plot points, not so much character development. 

Serena's lack of a stable, permanent father figure has left her trying to continuously fill a void with boys, best friend's boyfriends, teachers, and a long list of men that she falls hopelessly in love with in a matter of seconds. Serena's beautiful and charming, and attracts men like moths to a flame. It's a complex dynamic in that she craves to be loved and is loved by nearly everyone that meets her, but not in the way that a father figure would. She craves someone that will love her unconditionally, and always be there and will always pick her, in the way that Chuck loves Blair. 

Serena's relationship with Dan is messy in more ways than one. When they first begin to date, it's clear that Dan has put her on a pedestal, the dream girl, the most perfect woman to ever exist. Serena is a very flawed person with a very flawed past that unravels in front of Dan, causing him to judge and resent that Serena is not living up to the expectations he has set for her, without even knowing her. She loves that he admires her in a way that makes all of her past mistakes seem irrelevant, but that is purely because he does not know how much drama follows her around until he is already involved with her. She begins to resent that whenever some rumor is spread about Serena, whether that be true or false, he reacts poorly and needs to distance himself in order to think and recuperate. Dan's need to distance himself directly contrasts with Serena's need to be loved unconditionally, and yet they make up and continue their relationship as if they are both satisfied. In their first attempt at their relationship, Serena is not getting the love that she needs from Dan at that point in her life, and Dan's version of Serena in his head is constantly being shattered and rewritten. It's not necessarily either of their faults, they are literally sixteen years old. Serena's life is flawed and always under a cloud of scandal that is bigger than anything a sixteen year old boy is prepared for. It makes sense that this boy cannot give her the love she needs from a permanent fixture that she is looking for. This relationship ended on the pretense of the fact that they are from two different worlds and both cannot get over damage that was caused from outside forces. They refused to look inwards and realize that there is a problem in what they expected from each other and how they both needed to be loved. 

Serena had a bunch of different relationship's after Dan. She dated Nate, Carter, Colin, Nate's cousin Trip, her old teacher Ben, some other guy, another guy, someone's step dad, the list goes on, all culminating back to ending up with Dan in the last episode of the show. 

In contrast to Serena's relationships throughout the series, Blair truly only had one man that she circled around and that was Chuck. They were true high school sweethearts, in their own way. Chuck and Blair is exactly what Serena wanted her and Dan to be. Though apart, they were always circling each other, always knew in their hearts that they would end up together. The problem is that we did not see any of this on screen. When the writers felt like it was time to bring them closer, they wrote dialogue to convey the point that Dan and Serena have always had feelings for each other, though their actions told a very different story. Dan dates nearly everyone that graces the screen, and seems to have real chemistry with everyone he dates. Serena seems to have chemistry with everyone too. The chemistry that they share when they are together doesn't seem any different to what they have with other people. Dan dates his childhood best friend, Vanessa, and it really does seem like they are each other's perfect matches and will end up together ((for like 2 episodes total)(Vanessa is way more insecure than anyone could ever image)). 

There is a point in the show in which Serena is faced with a decision: to get back together with her childhood friend Nate, or to get back together with Dan. She tries to make a decision but ends up running away yet again and then comes back to declare that it was Dan that she chose. Like I stated before, we did not see any of this chemistry that they supposedly have on screen, this is all happening behind the scenes and in a show like Gossip Girl, we need to see these things happen, or they aren't real. Chuck and Blair have so much chemistry, it doesn't need to be said in dialogue. They share the same ambitions and sneaky personalities, their love of playing games both with and against each other, it makes sense that they are the perfect pair. Even Blair and Dan had more chemistry than him and Serena. Blair is a well established character with a backstory that is not comprised of childhood trauma, but of a passion for old Hollywood movies and style, books and niche topics that Dan also enjoys. Serena doesn't seem to have hobbies, interests, or much of a personality besides the fact that she's so charming. Any personality quirks that we get from her are all dialogue, not actually seen on camera. Isn't that what our teachers would tell us when we were learning to write? Show, not tell. In Serena's case, it's the complete opposite. 

We know that Blair loves tradition and having a specific type of pie for Thanksgiving. Does Serena like pie? What's Serena's favorite food? Favorite color? Favorite movie? Favorite artist? For both Dan and Blair, it seems as though we could answer some of these questions from their characterization. Serena is an empty, beautiful shell. I find it both funny and ironic that when Dan writes negatively about her, he knows that she is empty and shallow. What is her dream job? What are her life ambitions? She doesn't have any. She is so go with the flow and floats around life and whatever she happens to land upon, she goes with it until it doesn't work out. She doesn't acknowledge the privilege that it is to be Serena Van Der Woodsen. She's beautiful, rich, and knows all the right people. She could get into any college without so much as submitting an application. Everyone wants her for her name and her face. 

It seems as though she really struggles with the fact that everyone has preconceived notions about her, and yet she doesn't try to fix the way people think about her. All she does is run away when times get tough, and then comes back saying that she is trying to be different, that was the old Serena, the new Serena will be better this time. Then she cheats with Blair's boyfriend part two. Thank god the writers never paired her with Chuck. That would truly cross the line. 

Serena cheated with Dan when Blair and Dan were still together. She recorded it for her records in case she needed the footage for either blackmail or to break the two of them up. Blair and Dan didn't work out because Blair chose Chuck, but it still was not okay for Serena to do that to Blair... again. How did she escape this situation? She ran away, tried to go into hiding for the summer, omitted the truth, and then when the truth came out she tried to turn it on Blair and say, "you know I had feelings for Dan. You know how upset I was." It should be noted that at this time, Dan was drooling over Blair and had no romantic feelings for Serena. This was one of her first and hardest rejections, and she handled it poorly. Classic Serena, blames everyone for her problems and when the spotlight is on her she runs away. Old Serena, new Serena, she does not change once during the entire run of the show. 

A special note in here about another one of my least favorite qualities of Ms Serena Van Der Woodsen: she is extremely privileged. I've mentioned her charisma and her looks, but ultimately this chick is Loaded. Filthy rich and never will have to work a day in her life. She takes a gap year, goes to college for funsies, attends one semester and bangs a teacher, and then we never hear about her in college again. She is very driven and works hard at whatever job she takes on, but the job takes advantage of her name and her face, trying to use her for ulterior motives. How she doesn't realize the pattern is beyond me. When she is employed, it usually backfires by her taking advantage of her close friends or exploiting them in order to keep or move up at her job. The girl who literally does not need to work a day in her life and live a life of luxury consistently sells out her friends for a job she does not need. 

Thus, we have to talk about how dirty she did Dan after his book came out. Dan wrote a book, Inside, and based characters in his book on the main cast of the series. Sabrina, Serena's character was portrayed poorly as a shallow, alluring, self absorbed blonde, making Serena's job she's had for what, three weeks, suffer. Meanwhile, Blair was getting married to the Prince of Monaco and was trying to stay out of the media and behave properly in order to not embarrass her family. Blair's character, Claire, exposed Blair in a way that reflected poorly on Blair, implying that her and Dan had a romantic relation that was purely fiction. When Serena and Blair confront Dan on his slanderous book, Serena proclaims, "this could ruin my job" and Blair declares, "this could ruin my marriage" (I'm paraphrasing). Perspective, Serena. It's all about perspective. 

This whole plot line annoyed me to no end, especially because nearly everyone in Dan's life bailed on him and he was at the height of his career but the lowest point in his life. Serena was the first person to try to forgive him, and I know that meant a lot to Dan who was really down in the dumps. The only reason Serena reached out to Dan was to take advantage of him and gain the rights of Inside to make it into a movie. Dan at first was excited, but when he realized big time Hollywood producers were interested in the movie, he was about to make some big bucks. Let us not forget Serena Van Der Woodsen is one of the richest people in New York City, and Dan is a (somewhat) struggling artist from Brooklynn. This movie deal would change his entire life. Serena tries to save her job by ruining any chances of Dan's movie actually making it to film, and barely apologizes for it. And then probably gets fired. Ridiculous. 

It's the blind selfish acts that she still refuses to acknowledge as selfish that really cements her in my books as one of the worst characters to exist. She will never, and I mean never own up to anything that she is involved in, because she whole heartedly believes that she's innocent. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone is apologizing and they say, "I'm sorry if I hurt you." Like... yes it's not if you hurt me.... you did hurt me! Just apologize! This is Serena's go to line. She loves the 'I'm sorry if you were in the crossfire, I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm sorry if my actions ruined your life unintentionally'.... No more if's, Serena, you did hurt people. A lot of people. How these people in her life forgive her for the things that she does is beyond me. 

I will end chapter 1 with this: I really cannot tell if it's Blake Lively's portrayal of this character that makes her so unbearable, or the writers did Serena so dirty with all of her lines, actions, and reactions. I truly fear people who say their favorite character in Gossip Girl is Serena. Maybe if she wasn't so beautiful, maybe if she wasn't so rich, maybe if she wasn't so... Serena, I'd like her. I think the truth is I would never want to be friends with someone like Serena. I believe that most girls who watch this show would agree that they would want to be friends with a girl like Blair. I guess it could feel nice to be a teenage girl and have the most beautiful and most popular girl in the city as your best friend. To me, that seems like torture. 

Until next time, watch your back, Serena. 

xoxo, 

Gossip Girl