This never meant nothing to you.

Tonight has been amazing. Probably one of the best nights of my life. MCR LA night 1 has been a blessing. how fun was it to be in the pit! How lucky was I to get barricade! It was all worth it. All the suffering, all the pain. Mikey gave me a fist bump! What could be better? I'm still ecstatic about it. 

My body hurts but it's fine. It was all worth it! 

I was thinking about you. Well, at the concert I didn't really *think* about you, but rather, I sang the songs I put in your playlist. Hearing them live definitely healed something in me. I did tear up at I don't love you, and I thought, oh, I really, actually don't love you anymore. Good. That's cool. Disenchanted too. It made me realize that despite my love, we were supposed to be friends. You just dissappeared, didn't you? And based on the last things I saw you post before I blocked your stuff from my view, you do think that I'm wrong. So it really never meant nothing to you. You know what? Fuck you. Sincerely. I guess that's it, this is all. We'll really never talk again because you were never really interested in keeping our friendship. Why the fuck do we have a TikTok streak still? But you know? I'm petty. You're the one who should kill it, not me. Like you killed our friendship. 

Famous Last Words makes me think of you too. Now I know that I can't make you stay. But where's your heart? Did you ever have one? No, you have a hollow hole where it should go. You don't know how to care for others, much less keep a friendship if things turn hard. And I can't change it, I really can't. But I'm not afraid to keep on living, to walk this world alone. And y'know? Life has been beautiful without you. Today was the best night of my life, and you don't even know it. Because we're not friends anymore. 

It's funny how you were the Mikey to my Pete. Yet today, it was Mikey who gave me such a happy moment, such a blessing! And today, even they are friends, despite all the hardships they might have gone through in their relationship. But I guess they made amends. They may not be close anymore, but they probably at least talked? You don't even talk to me, so don't expect me to be all friendly. From now on, I'll treat you just as you've treated me, with pure, raw coldness. You don't exist to me any longer. You're nol even a stranger, you're just a ghost. You're not real to me anymore. Just a concept of someone who is in the past. A complete stranger. 

Oh, and y'know what? Their situationship was more complicated in the sense that weird stuff did happen, confusing relationships, Mikey was quite a fuckboy back then too. You barely have social life and you ghosted me like I was nothing? Yeah, he fucked up, probably fixed things. But he did have other human relationships, huh? I know you only have the friends I helped you get, because they're MY friends. Apart from that you have a single friend, your brother and sister. I guess now I know why you're alone, because you fucking suck. My feelings might have been similar to Pete's, but our situation wasn't. 

I was wondering if you'd ever become as cheerful as Mikey is now. He really changed, didn't he? It's cool to see him so happy, and so close to his fans (Like me!) Bro's a cutie patootie today. But could you ever achieve that? No, your heart is cold, frozen, pure ice. Or maybe it's just a hollow darkness? You have no love inside your heart, you just pretend it does. You love lying, after all. 

After disenchanted today, I couldn't help but feel it was over. It's really over, I don't need to think about you anymore, unless I want to farm content for songs or something I need. You're just a disposable memory of pain. You no longer matter to me. 

We have nothing more in common than the things you stole from me.

But it's fine, because I can always rebuild and get new things. My friends are loyal to me, even if they keep you around. I'm closer to all of them than you are, and I guess there's a reason for that. I don't care if you keep seeing them, because I know they're good friends. Unlike you.

And I'll keep on living, like I'm doing now. I'm having the time of my life. I'll keep having a good life. I'll concentrate on the band. On things that actually matter. Not you, definitely.

xoxo M