july 25/25

happy 25/25!! i know this happens twelve times in the year but shush i just noticed it now.

today was weird. i was on instagram live drawing and this one person in my chat was asking questions like "have you ever sold drugs" and another person was telling me about their dead grandmother who wasn't actually dead i don't think??? anyhow it was just really uncomfortable. i don't think i'll go on their for a bit

i listened to what a catch donnie seven times while making apple crumble and i was just like damn. i relate to this song so hard it makes my head spin. cuz like yeah i do got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match. i kinda can't understand the rest of what patrick is singing in that song so that's all i got but the jazziness of it reminds me of my childhood and that upset me. i can't tell if i miss being a child or am so glad to be out of being raised by my mother. she tried her best, i know, but some things i still think about to this day late at night while crying and i don't think that's how a childhood is supposed to go.

anyhowwww i need to take my apple crumble out of the oven now

xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxox

ray