SOMEONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DATING ME (AND THEY WEREN'T!)

This one goes far back.Sort of. It was the middle of the pandemic. I had a childhood friend. She was always super sweet, kind and she was funny. I liked her humor. But for me, things took a damn dark turn when she wrote me a "love letter" in my journal I had. It was saying I had liked you the moment I seen you type of shit. 

Very sweet. I was charmed for sure by the note. Just charmed. Nothing else. However, I felt like I was in an awkward situation and she started out as my friend. Friends that turn into relationships don't always work out. And if anything when it doesn't work out you are sadly no longer friends. Better just leave things is alone has been my attitude when it comes to that. 

So, I woke up seen the journal. She left to get us coffee's that morning. I read it. I was like thinking in my head "whoa, I don't feel the same way you do" so horrible me, I really didn't wanna reject her feelings at all, so I did a big boo-boo. I wrote something back "You are the best. I will think about what you said. Not a for sure. But I will think about it". Is that gaslighting? LOL 

Yes, yes it was. 

I wrote "Maybe, I will think about going out with you" just honestly to shut her up and it was my hope by writing back. SOMETHING. She would leave the subject alone. Oh no no. She wrote back. By the way I am kinda pissed she wrote in my $50 journal I bought for myself. Lol.. 

She took the literal word "maybe" as yes. I think the word "Maybe" is very, very different than the three letter word yes. Maybe is even spelled longer has more letters. But she took the string of hope and went with it I knew I should have back then just said no. But she kept pushing it and pushing it. If a man where to do that...it would be called harassment. Just sayin'. 

I wrote only back something like "maybe, give me sometime to think about this" just really as a way to not offend her or hurt her feelings. 

The next day: 

"OMG I can't believe were finally dating!!". My first thought was "I said maybe I never said word for word YES, I want to be dating you full time". So again, sometimes I am a soft and just don't know how to let someone down easy. Well, now I do. But back then not at all. Totally clueless. 

I got a little worried in my head I was thinking to myself something like "how did she turn a maybe into a yes?" this makes no sense. So, at the time I didn't wanna let her down or really hurt her feelings and most importantly I didn't wanna make her feel bad or like she wasn't good enough. Just not my type. 

I think all the men can agree to this. Good thing I don't names. I tell a story but won't names just because some of this is a bit personal and private so making no names..you get where I am going with this..one time she was with me for a whole week. Just staying with me hanging out. She needed a place to stay for a wee bit so I figured being friends come on over! Within 5 days, on the 5th day, to myself I said "you been here for 5 whole days and not took a shower once". Fucking gross for a woman right? That right there was like to screams "You don't take care of yourself, no wonder I never hit you up to date". Plus the conversation she always had was limited and short and very, very annoying.All she would do is talk about her ex-boyfriend allllll. The. Time. Even when I am so kind and say "Hey, wanna go for a walk?" as a way to obviously hopefully defuse the 247 rambles of "I wanna talk about my ex". And as a friend at the time I thought it was good to take her mind of her ex by not talking about him. But even when we go on our walk...."OMG my ex when we went for walks.." It just never fucking stops. It's like ...ughhhhh I thought when they were an ex you never mention them again. Mentioning them gives them a bit of your energy and if they are an...ex...why would you give them remotely any energy of any kind. Needless to say on our walk I was thinking in my head of course lol.."Does this bitsh ever stop talking about her ex bf". You stink. And you never shut up about your boyfriend. LOL 

Listen, just in general she wasn't my type. She never wears make up. Never wears anything girly. Always kinda just dresses like a slob and doesn't even care about how she presents herself in public. Yeah, not for me thanks. Oh...sorry! Back to my story....on the 5th day of no showering she literally had the balls to ask me if we wanted to hook up. She wasn't kidding. So I said I better rip this band off the nicest way I know how/can. Btw there is no easy way to tell someone they stink LMFAO! But for real I was very gentle in my delivery and she still took it the wrong way. Idiot! 

I just said "hey..you been here for like 5 days and you haven't even asked to use my shower once, your not thinking I am gonna hook up with you when you haven't even bathed. Needless to say she cried. Why is it btw totally cool for girls to have the strongest opinions about us. But the moment we have a remote opinion we are the world's biggest azzholes. No. You just need to grow up and no one like myself had the balls to tell you, you fcking stunk!! I am mean she was heartbroken. She left crying. I was like "damn now i feel a little bad". But really wouldn't you say the same thing? OH BTW I know if I stunk and havent bathed in 5 days straight and said hey girl you wanna go down on my pipe that stinks like rotten eggs? NO Lol. I don't smell like rotten eggs by the way just finding a totally random example. But, you get me. 

So during this time, she thought were dating. I am so nuts I think after the 2nd week I said to myself "I let this drag on long enough" I had to tell her "We gotta break up this isn't working" 

We gotta break up this isn't working..............................I am breaking up with someone who I wasn't officially even dating. I thought wow this is insane. She needs help. I was honestly baffled. I was going 'I literally can't believe I am breaking up with someone who thinks we are going out". Unhealthy or unhealthy. Prob on both ends. 

Honestly, a big part of my heart was thinking I don't wanna hurt her feelings because we will never be friends again because of it. So I said "This isn't working out". But in between us "dating" I remember thinking "This is inane you think your dating me on a maybe". 

My one friend I had to get a females POV on this. She agreed with me on why this girl just randomly started agreeing on my behalf to date. We got to talking I said to her "I think she was just afraid of being.." and before I could finish she finished the last word "..No". we even said it together. At the same time. So boom I found someone to give me their thoughts on this without thinking I am over reacting. She even agreed my friend she said "She was probably afraid of being told no because she knew that was the answer she was gonna get". Yup. 

It was honestly the most wildest most unhealthy thing I ever experienced. Ask yourself this..."Would it not be odd to break up with someone your not even dating?" 

You can't make this shit up. One of the reasons well a few reasons I didn't wanna date her. I didn't wanna take care of someone else's kids. I wanted to start my own family with someone I like/truly love and adore. She never took care of herself. She would throw on a dirty stain sweater again and have no problem with it. Not a good look for me. 

However, just because she was having body/bathing in water issues (usually stems from a problem I feel). I just couldn't anymore with her. I know in the back of her brain she probably thinks "maybe one day he will want me". 

Honestly, no. I never wanted you that way. Only as a friend. She was a great super friend let me tell you...I feel like even when I told her she needed to take a bath or shower she got super offended and mad. Right there that told me you aren't good at taking opinions and its not like I was lying making it up word for word to hurt her. Yo! You stunk! lol. 

As a friend I think we are no longer friends. Drifted a part. I just don't wanna hang around people who leave their houses in filth. Not even to clean up before company is a no no. I usually always clean and organize a little bit before people come over. That was one pet peeve of mine. Along with many others. 

I think when I do back into the memory vault of this situation..."I am stunned I broke up with someone who thought we were dating". Remember all I said was "maybe i'll think about it".Thats not yes. 

Whatever she may or may have went through over the years I wish her nothing but the best. Honestly! But for me. Too many red flags. And ones she wasn't even wanting to work on for even herself. So, no thanks. Thank you from my heart but no thanks truly without any mean or ill intent. 

Shame women and men ruin friendships over their lonely vibes!