a depressing return

i wonder if theres point anymore, i feel little to nothing physically. but now mentally i feel everything and nothing at the same time, is this how its meant to be forever? i no longer want to be here or be known exists, i want to erase all my memories. my throat hurts as i write this holding back tears that still come out the corner of my eyes, dribbling down my eyes. my boyfriend doesnt love me, no one does. everyone leaves or treats me like i never mattered. this is it isnt it, its over for me. i have no purpose i dont make anyone happy i only ever have people who want me to be temporary, til they find someone better. no memories bring me joy anymore, its all black and white, i wish i never existed maybe then añl these people who’ve met me would have it easier than having to deal with someone like me, it sucks but its the truth.