Getting high pt.2

I understand why people get high, from the couple of experiences i’ve had with weed. Addiction runs deep in my family so i’ve always been adamant on not indulging myself so deeply, swearing that i wouldn’t end up as some of my unfortunate relatives. However i’m human, so i caved in and have tried weed and alcohol and weirdly discovered that i hate when i’m not myself. Like being high was fun but the guilt and the uncomfortable feeling that i can’t just snap out of it was always lingering in the back of my head. What if my mom saw me like this? or my father? would be the next relative to be looked at like a demon? Those questions haunted my high so i nipped it in the bud but the few moments where i didn’t think about those thoughts were pretty good and fun. In terms of alcohol i’ve only tired a high noon and my brother described the taste perfectly “it’s like you put a watermelon jolly rancher in a sparkling water, but you took out the jolly rancher after a few seconds” it didn’t taste that good and i was promptly cut off because my mom came around and it wasn’t worth it to try and keep going. i think i’ll get high again but hopefully far away from my parents and in a legal state so i can have some piece of mind, i see myself eating wingstop and watching ATHF blitzed, my future is bright.