Yapping about how much i hate summer

Summer makes me feel like the most uninteresting lazy son of a gun in the whole universe. Even when i get outside and go do fun things a lot, unless i am out of the house i literally sit in my bed and draw or i get stuck doom-scrolling despite all my attempts to get off my phone. I dont get to dress in any of my favorite clothes because i cant handle the heat unless im in shorts and a baggy shirt (because i cant wear my binder or anything or i will pass out haha). 

The first month of summer is probably the worst though because im just so burnt out from school that i physically can't do anything, the only reason i have been able to stay active this last month is because if i don't keep my mind busy all i can think about is my grandfathers passing and i am not a dude who likes to cry all the time. I try to watch movies or get on my wii but everytime i leave my room my mom is on my ass and just wont stop talking so i get all stressed and pissy. I try to play my bass but i fail to learn anything new because i can barely remember anything else i've learned, i don't really think i will ever get good at bass even if i try and as much as i've always wanted to learn. 

The other part i don't like about summer is not getting to see all my friends everyday, i suck at reaching out and texting people and i usually feel like i'm bothering everyone lol. I am going to try and invite three of them over to swim maybe next week and they all seemed excited about it, and as much as i hate swimming its kinda all we can do in this heat for free (the only thing im allowed to do anyways) I just kinda wish i wasn't the one that had to organize everything all the time to see everyone though, i wish i could just call people and that be it like how my dad always describes how he had it or whatever. I also wish my brother would do anything but sit on his pc and scream like he's a youtuber all day, he barely talks to me anymore and whenever he does he's always so mad, sorry i wanna be brothers and hangout and play something together i guess. And when i say its all he does, i mean it is ALL he does. As i write this he is screaming at something right now actually. He gets mad everytime we leave the house because "he was doing something" even though all he plays is roblox, he wont eat or do any daily routine things (like brushing his teeth bro, how do you not brush your teeth) he doesnt sleep much either because once he gets off the computer to 'sleep' he just sits on his phone. Teenagers, am i right? 

Now don't get me wrong, i am a guy that likes being alone, but at a certain point it gets a little unbearable, especially when your mom put a giant mirror on your wall and theres one in the hallway and on the stairs and in the bathroom and the kitchen and LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. I realize i am not the greatest looking guy and i don't really care until everywhere i look its shoved in my face yk? Not to mention my rib problems are getting worse even though i barely bind over summer, im hoping that will be less bad once im back binding more often though. I just don't like taking pictures of myself already so having a mirror in my face all the time kinda sucks. But whatever man, im getting my haircut in two weeks so i hopefully wont look like a lesbian instead of a guy anymore lol. 

I also am writing this on my computer because i was doing work for the class i remembered i have to teach again next year, people better fucking join this class next year because if i put in all this work just for no one to be around i might lose it. I'm actually only really thinking about school right now because i am actually excited to finally be an upperclassman, even if everyone tells me Junior year is the worst, even if most people in that school don't like me, even if we literally have no principal and like half our needed teachers, i don't really care man. I just need to be able to be social again instead of stuck in my room. I also want to go back to school because then i get to see my wife everyday again, one of my friends was talking to me about it and said she would help me ask her out so i'm very curious how shes gonna 'help' with that. 

Uhh thats all i guess, Everyone go listen to The Writhing South by Say Anything (It should be playing right now), peace out dudes (and ladies and neithers)