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i’ve met a lot of people online. we talked, played games, joked around. everything felt normal until one day they just became dry. distant. i’d ask, “what’s going on? you’ve been quiet.” and they’d say stuff like, “i’m just depressed” or “my mental health’s been bad lately.”
i don’t know why, but that always makes me stop. it’s not that i don’t care, but it confuses me. how do people just say that out loud??
maybe it’s just me. but when someone says they’re depressed, it feels kinda weird. not because i think they’re lying, but because for me if i were really going through something, i wouldn’t be able to say it like that. i wouldn’t even know how to start. it's unfair that i can't do something about it! i blame it all to people bc they made me feel and think like this way
sometimes it feels like people are self-diagnosing themselves without really understanding it. like, they feel sad for a while and immediately think it’s something deep. and maybe it is, but who knows? every time someone talks about their feelings so openly, it makes me wonder. how the hell do they even do that????
because when things are heavy for me, i just keep it inside. i try to solve it alone. when i do try to talk, it feels wrong, like i’m bothering someone. so i stay quiet. i hold it in. and it builds up. real life or online it's the same thing. i want to say something, but i don’t know how. i don’t want to sound like i’m asking for attention. but i also wish someone would notice. i need help but at the same time i dont want to bother them. it's confusing, really really confusing. all i can do is holding it all by myself and wait for it to explode. writing this feels really hard for me
15/07/2025
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☆Matty_Smatty☆
I get what you mean! It may be different, but when I get upset or when I'm having a hard time, I shut down and can't say a word. I too feel weird when people are so open about their emotional issues and, much like you, it's not that I'm judging them or anything like that, it's just something I wouldn't be able to do. I don't want to tell you or anyone what to do, especially when I have no idea what I'm doing myself, but I think it would be good to have someone to talk to, anyone, about how you're feeling, good or bad. Just worried, bud :(
s0nd3r
People can be honest or want help. If someone is so casual saying something as vulnerable as that then there must be some kind of trust they have for someone.
Chomper
I used to think like this when i was younger lol
"but because for me if i were really going through something, i wouldn’t be able to say it like that" I had the EXACT SAME thought process. I thought im sad and anxious and i dont say anything so surely if someone does say it they cant be lol.
In a way that was part of me fetishing my own sadness and part of the reason i was miserable was because i thought if i talked to someone it "didnt count" as me actually being depressed. I then held this standard up to everyone to make it "fair" leading to me being closed off and expecting other people to be as well.
Idk if youre going though smth similar but its a tough mindset to free yourself from.
Its an unfair standard to hold yourself and others around you to.
You dont believe people who open up because you wouldnt and you might be too scared to open up because of the exact same reason. Its a cycle.
"i don’t want to sound like i’m asking for attention. but i also wish someone would notice"
I had the EXACT SAME problem (youre like a mini me lol). I was miserable and wanted to die all the time but when i pushed myself to open up i started to enjoy life. That was maybe 3 years ago and the last three years of my life have been my best. I know its hard but once you do it youll feel so liberated. Even baby steps like this post help :3
Just because someone asks for help doesnt mean they arent miserable. This applies to you and the people around you.
Even if they arent "truly depressed" and want to talk thats fine! You dont need an excuse or a dire situation you are allowed to talk about it even if you are just a little sad!
Thinking like this about yourself and your friends will help you and your wellbeing trust me!
it gets easier once you start accepting the fact that anyone deserves help and care no matter how sad they are.
ngl i’ve actually tried opening up before, but the people around me just didn’t take it seriously.
i had some pretty heavy stuff going on, but because i was js a “kid,” my parents brushed it off. like it didn’t matter. same with people around my age. they didn’t really get it either.
when i opened up, they didn’t know how to respond or they js respond it carelessly. and that honestly js made everything worse
so yeah when i see people calling themselves “depressed” over something that seems really minor, i find it corny. it’s like watching everyone cry over a problem that i could easily solved it in a second. but for some reason they act like it’s the most depressive things in the world. and i’m just here like.. what the actual heck??
by wiltedhalo; ; Report
people dont always want solutions sometimes they just want to vent
you are denying other people and therefore yourself the right to express negative emotions when something isnt "worthy" of it making the barrier between seeking help harder to breach.
Who cares if its small and fixable the fact is theyre upset and if you were really their friend youd be receptive.
You may be surrounded by people who dont take these things seriously because you dont either.
You must see the irony in saying no one takes my feelings seriously followed by i dont take other peoples feelings seriously? The call is coming from inside the house I fear.
by Chomper; ; Report
well, before i even started thinking their problems were unserious, i was still trying to help. i listened, i gave advice, i tried to be like some kind of therapist for them. honestly, i gave them more than they probably expected! it's like i'm just a medicine that would heal their corniest problem. and of course i give them the best solution to solve their problem that they didn't even do it!
while me when it's my turn to talk, they just like "damn why the hell is dis dude telling me his problem. his work is only listen to my problem and NOT telling me his problem. i guess i just answer random stuff to make him go away" and sure, they gave me advice back… but most of it was half-assed and actually made things worse. i tried being receptive, but they couldn’t do the same for me.
so yeah, maybe now i seem like i don’t take their feelings seriously, but honestly? can you really blame me?? it’s hard to care when no one cared back. don't blame it all on me, it's not my fault that i don't take their problem seriously :p
by wiltedhalo; ; Report
why are you friends with these people then? dont give people like that the time of day.
by Chomper; ; Report
they are not my friends, well i wish they are. i just want to have someone to spend time with. i thought they understood me, it turns out they don't
by wiltedhalo; ; Report
Zombie (but hotter)
Sometimes it's just easier for people to say it online! When I'm going through stuff I have easier time to open up to people online, or strangers, someone I don't know on personal level. I won't say it to my family or friends. I would say it to my therapist or in bulletins on SpaceHey because I don't really know anyone there. I have one friend on discord I'm really close with and I don't tell them anything because I know them, I'm close to them. And there's opposite of that too - people open up because they know them. They won't say it to a stranger but to someone close.
And others just don't open up to anyone. It's all different for different people.
When my friend vents to me, I don't understand how they do it, but I understand why - they trust me/feel safe to say it.
I don't know if that answers anything or it's just an anecdote. Sorry.
the real question is how some people can express themselves so easily. but yeah, i kinda agree w you. opening up online is easier than doing it in real life. thanks for sharing your thoughts btw :)
by wiltedhalo; ; Report