ya'll. I cleaned my bathroom.

GIMME MY PROPS GIMME MY PROPS

I discovered the pomorodoro method and ya boy is being productive!!

tbh its not even just the method itself 

I just like the noise

the second I heard the ticking noise ti was like all the radio adhd chatter in my brain went silent and I focus on what I wanna do

what helped was that i shortly made a list of all the stuff I wanna do in order of priority and I realized what type of environments/spaces I do best in

annnd some like signs I gotta watch out for of when I get overwhelmed and feel stuck--so executive dysfunction  sets in. 

I get time blindness alot and so I cant really tell you what I do half my day esp if im on the internet for most of it, so spending alot of time outside the house whether in the garden or out running errands helps alot

guhhh ... practicing mindfulness helps too. and logic. logics awesome.

🧒:< "uhhh! I wanna draw and paint and make sculptures rn! I wanna do sm creative!" 

"silly silly nigga boy, before you do that you gotta clean first!"> 🗿

🧒:< "but! but! I wanna draw first! I wanna do that now!"

"okay well.."

"You can shut the fuck up." 

you wanna sit and draw and let your bathroom remain dirty, then let that shit acclimate for weeks because you keep saying you'll do it tomorrow only to never get to it because you feel 'tired,' then fall into a guilt and shame spiral that paralyzes you for weeks until suddenly you wakeup and realized you induced self into yet another depressive episode!

"or,"

"you wanna clean it now and feel rewarded now that your unburdened and free. free to enjoy your creative hobbies to your hearts content?" >🗿

😶 <"..."

🫩:<"mmmmm....yeah that sounds about right."

in my final parting sentence I was about to write "good boy" but I dunno if I should take the bit that far lmao.

anywayyyys im slowly meeting my goals, tho I thought id never reach em ever again tbh.

and their actually so small and minuscule but hey its soemthing! even if its pathetic.

1. watch a YouTube video (in the same way that I used in 2019)

which is basically like putting on a commentary video and getting shit done, while also being ontop of the lastest internet drama and shift in our general culture. lmao.

OR

we go back even FURTHER and think to 2016/2017

when I used to watch YouTube videos for fun and got inspired by other creators doing some fun new niche hobby! like doll customizing, animating, tutorials etc.. anything lol, making clothes WHATEVER. like watching whole 15 minute  videos and sitting through them without clicking out to find my next bit of stimulation or feeling the urge to multitask and draw while listening.

idk it felt pretty big watching watching my favorite idol group's perfomances and not being distracted!

 plus getting caught up on their previous lore/like..other videos was pretty neat too.

and it felt nice that I took the time to be able to appreciate their artistry, skill and talent instead of watching them for a brief moment and gliding right over them to next form of entertainment. 

live laugh ILLIT

LIKE GAHHH GUYS GUYS GUYS 

if you weren't there when they first debuted and they got waves of hate then you dont get it 😭😭😭 cuz seeing them grow so much, and just seeing the show case of their skills blossoming is just awesome

sighhh I love them heh.