fucking facial fixation bruh

for starters i miss doing more elaborate makeup, but makeup is is expensive and i literally used like a quarter of the products i used on past “looks”. 

i used the tiktok camera. its like the only camera i actually fw. aaaand admittedly i used the beauty filter (shocking i know). now in case it wasnt obvious by the title, i have crippling body dysmorphia and have no idea what i look like. 

i used the beauty filter bc i imagine that people perceive me the way i perceive myself w this filter or in the mirror.

whereas i fixate on every flaw on my face and body, WHICH TOTALLY EXISTS, IM NOT CRAZY. 

maybe others overlook them. so maaaaybe to them i appear the way i do here. 

that doesnt make sense. 

whatever tho.

it really just smoothed my skin, and and reduced the appearance of my atrocious smile lines, sagging skin, and eye bags. 

but i digress.

kinda jus want cigs now. i need some marb blacks or camel crushes rn. gimmeeee 15 packs of each.