Does it Spark Joy?

The sun is shining and I've just finished Go Ask Alice after purchasing it only yesterday. Actually, I have been diagnosed with BPD , ASD, and ADHD this week and I am trying to grasp the concept of improvement while also the guilt of having someone pay attention to me. Even now I think, "what if I'm faking it?" Despite my suffering and endless attempts to succeed at basic tasks and accomplish my goals--for a long time my only priority was to survive and its cost me my life. I am currently trying to find the motivation to study for a very important midterm while also managing my social life and two heavy weight assignments...does anyone have any ideas on how to spark the joy? So I can do the things that I have to do or else I will fail? Things I want to do but can't? I just sit here?