today. tomorrow. forever.

when I'm crying like that, i feel like a little kid

i want to hug my grandma, i miss her so so much. i just want to feel her embrace. to smell her. it was so distinct. i can still remember it. i hope i never, ever forget. what would she say if she knew about everything? even though i know i never would've told her. would she have noticed something is wrong?

what would i have said?

i miss you

everyday 

sometimes she felt like home too

that's what i used to like the most

but I'm ready to let it go, even though it hurts

it doesn't hurt as much as losing her

i 

I don't know how else to express the way i feel

it's so strong 

so immense

my feelings are too overwhelming 

orange 

what could it be? 

it hurts a bit but

dissappointment? 

today's been dissappointing. you are dissappointing. life is dissappointing. yeah. that's just how it is sometimes.