UPDATES & ALL THAT

I think it was last month I was typing up a new entry. My laptop died before I could finish & post. To recap- FIL admitted to cheating on my MIL for 9 months. Of course,  there's more to it but that is the gist.

For current events.. I don't know if I want to stay with my bf. We've been fighting so so much. Mainly over house things (chores, raising baby, etc). The more I argue with him ober these things,  the more I ask my self "would he be a good husband & father in the future?". We clash. We clash over how clean we want the house.  WHICH IS SUPER IMPORTANT TO ME. He grew up in a dirty, messy, no-rules household. BUT he calls me crazy for wanting to have a clean house/room. He says I over do it. I have seen this guy eat roach infested pizza left ober night on the kitchen counter 😷. One of the times we argued over cleanliness, I brought this up. He did not remember he did that.. 

At night, he let's baby cry her lungs out in her crib. I explained to him she is still learning how to put herself to sleep yet. I try to get up to cradle her, he stops me. Mind you. This little girl is SCREAMING her lungs out crying.

Sometimes he reminds me of my ex & the stuff he would do. My ex was so dirty.

Wrote this at 12am with my bf next to me. Not sure of he's asleep. Has his back turned towards me. Just some thoughts before I go to sleep. Might elaborate, might not. Might post my previous drafts, might not.