29 | blogging from the phone

i’m blogging from da phone, taking me out of the early 2000s immersion.

anyways. old sugar daddy is asking to talk to me on the phone. he’s honestly getting on my nerves bc he’s gonna get all hot and heavy and not even pay. 

i hate it so much. like he is the epitome of manipulation. i mean, why would he message a 19 year old as a 50 year old in the first place? then offer an allowance and stuff, but never follow through?? he wants me to be his online escort. and after 3 years he’s only sent $600 measly dollars. a full time professor. he promised me a new phone and an allowance, but never followed through. because SOMETHING always happend. idk why i entertain him anyway.

seems that’s typical. i think a lot of men will see a women in need, and pile on standard and rules and regulations on top of the relationship while dangling money over them but never actually giving it. the definition of capitalism and a white savior complex.

anyways, i want(ed) to go to law school.  the prep costs $800, and the tuition is…wait for it…

$81k!  

PER YEAR!

the ONLY to pay is by getting a crazy high score on the LSAT so i can get a scholarship.

everything that i thought was possible, is impossible…

i’m so sad.