on being plural

i kinda wish i was more open about being a system? i dont like the word 'alters', i dont like using simply plural or trying to keep tabs on mySELF. it makes me feel so.. disconnected. im just me.

every online community i look into makes me sick, these people make me sick. i cant relate to any of you. it reminds me of being in kinnie discord servers and watching people roleplay their "kin memories" which were just vine shitposts.

i have more to say but i feel as if the sys community is gonna have my head if i really try to speak my piece. so im leaving this here. 

i just feel so suffocated