casual

actually thinking about you is still painful.  I'm higher than cloud 9 right now, and yet when i think about you it just hurts. and I'm still a stupid idiot. what a fucking idiot. my mind wandered off to how cool/cute it would've been if we had went together, dressed up, with our matching Sylvanian families. and then i thought that it could still be cool but we should have each other's Sylvanian....what a naive idiot I am. I'm mad at myself for even thinking about this. It's such a cool idea, and it would've been perfect had things been.... different. But it's too late for regrets now. There's no going back anymore. I'll take my own Sylvanian. It really would've been cooler to match, but why would i want to match with you? you clearly don't care, so I won't count on it anymore. I can't count on you anymore. 

I hate all of you. I hate that I can't hate you truly. I wish we could be nuked. I don't want to deal with this. I'll just pretend nothing happened and let the poison radiate my heart. The truth is I already started doing it, but I let them know it would happen. Nothing will be the same. Not for me. I don't care what they think. I also quit my role as leader  Yeah, things will be different. Whatever. They can go fuck themselves if they never want to meet or see each other ever again.