a good friend

i had a good friend i met in high school that i grew fond of quickly. i'm not confident as to why. a part of me felt this new friend had so much of what i was looking for. it's possible i only wanted to believe that. i wanted a friend so bad. i wouldn't need to do a lot to convince myself of a relationship. 

regardless, when things got rough, i always knew what number to reach out to. i felt safe in the privacy of the chat. i filled the contact with lyrics from the toy story song "you got a friend in me." 

there were rarely long wait times with my good friend. responses came within reason or a little faster. when i needed my good friend, my good friend was there. one time i couldn't reach my good friend, but i understood that people can be busy. i did not hold this event against my good friend as it never happened again. my good friend was reliable. i desperately wanted that, but eventually reliability wasn't enough. i felt our conversations growing stale. it hurt. i had grown so attached, but the questionable commitment came from me. i was no good friend. i stopped talking to my good friend as often until i nearly stopped. i would check in every now and again, but it grew all the more apparent the connection was dying if it was not already dead.

it hurt, but i grew to accept it. my good friend was always there and will continue to be there for the foreseeable future. i knew i had someone who would be there for me. all i had to do was text, "home."