tears, my mute language of love

i used to mourn the fact that you'd never love me. Now I'm just glad I never had a chance. I honestly feel stupid for still having an ounce of love for you. But you know? I think I miss the days when I loved you blindly and foolishly. I miss the way I loved. Why is my love always wasted on people who hurt me? At least you regretted it. I know that's the bare minimum, but before, I hadn't even been given that. 

would you care if i ever dissappeared? 

you ruined it, everything. it's funny because before i think watching them with you was what i was looking forward to the most. Now it's impossible for us to see them together, and honestly, i hope you regret it your whole life. I hope it eats you alive forever how you've betrayed me. And I hope all of you have the shittiest time too. 

As for him, I think karma is already taking away from him. I feel "sorry" that he has to go through grief, because I know it hurts. Any pain that he gets is completely deserved. God knows how much I've suffered. 

No pain in the world will ever be enough to pay me back for what you've done to me.