i like pretending i am my favorite artists. please tell me you do too

pretty much the title. i hate myself, but not in the way of like "oh god i wanna kill myself i'm so fucking ugly everyone hates me" but more as in "i feel like my entire personality is based on my interests and there is nothing special about me that my friends actually like about me". if that makes sense. all of my writing, art, even the way i speak is because i hear someone else do it. the way i express myself, its all built off other people. im an imposter.

god what a fucking depressing sentence, do you know how insane you have to be to type that out? and publish it? whatever. im trying to find interests by myself with no recommendations, while trying to create art with my own style. photography is fantastic in that regard, because I get to draw and make my own filters. i haven't seen tutorials on editing for that reason; my shit is special because its mine only. i made it. im trying to do the same with writing, but fall out boy has ruined me. in a good way. pete wentz is an ass but patrick stump and joe trohman make up for it. also andy, but i don't much about him unfortunately :,< i lost the message of this post minutes ago, so bye for today. im going on vacation