unearthed feelings

I remember when I was a kid and I was sleeping at my grandma's house, I received the news that my childhood dog had died. 

My reaction was definitely not what the adults expected. I didn't cry or nothing, It was like nothing had happened, until I saw my mama in the other day. When I looked at her, I started crying about the dog, like she had unearthed the feelings in me, exposing a fragility and sadness I didn't even know was there.

Now, my mother is not that figure able to unearth my deep feelings anymore. Was I grew older, two other people whose I dont share blood with took that place, but especially my sister. She has been here for me for ages, willing to take on that security role that my mother couldn't maintain was I grew up.

Sometimes when I am sad and look at her, I can still feel that little kid who started crying when saw her mother. That is something I dont aprove, because I really didn't want to put her in a place that my mother was supposed to be filling.