Maybe I do need therapy


Guys I wrote another song about him, point and laugh.

My birthday came and went. It wasn't anything exciting and that's never a problem with me. It's just the crash and burn I'm feeling. I was happy for a few days. I made a few new friends, did some cleaning, wrote maybe a million unsent letters, and I went out to eat, even if the food wasn't too great. I'm trying to grow up. I don't want to say the exact same things I did in the other blogs about how things are doing, but I haven't changed.

Moving on sucks. Not just from relationships but from anything and anyone. One awful thing about me is that I hate confrontation. I hate having to talk to people about how I feel or saying goodbye. I can't leave a friend even if she hurts me. All because I'm afraid she'll yell or I'll cry. It's pathetic. One day I hope I'll be better than this. Otherwise I will know that I really haven't grown up at all.

Relationship wise, I might just be back at square one. No matter what I do or who I talk to, it's not enough. I know I'm supposed to go at my own pace, but why can't I just forget it? Even meeting new people scares me. I know this guy is probably heaven sent, but I know I'm not anywhere near ready and I don't think I ever will be. I think it's because I still hope it's a nightmare. Maybe if I just didn't say anything, I would've been alright. I wish goodbye didn't mean farewell in our case. But hey, the Spotify playlist eats.

On a happier note, I saw Final Destination: Bloodlines and it was amazing. My sister had been waiting for so long, so we saw it together. I haven't seen the prior movies so I'm using my awful sleep schedule as the perfect opportunity to watch them tonight. I won't ever say it to her, but I'm so happy that she drags me into watching movies with her. I will never pick up pennies again.