dancing alone

am i in love with you or with the idea of you? i have thought about this before, and the conclusion is always devastating: it's always you. the idea of you is nice to imagine or dream of. the leaves falling in autumn, the cherries blossoming in spring. 

but the mundane days with you, getting high, laughing, watching tv and lounging in my bed...those are the days that drive me crazy.

walking around the city with you by my side

is desire the root of all suffering? is that why love is so torturous? Longing is just the desire to be loved. I know you'll never love me. You'll never look at me with the eyes I look at you. 

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. 

Maybe you'd never talk to me again if you did.