Struggles and healing 3

This week has been pretty hard on my mental health. My uncle passed away last Friday and my grandma took a pretty bad fall last Sunday breaking a leg and hurting her hips. My grandma had fallen while walking her dogs, she doesn't take her phone with her so when she never came back to the elderly home she lives at the police and my mum was alerted.

Luckily she is safe and in hospital, my mum has urged her to take her phone with her from now on. She lives in Scotland which is three hours away from me and our family, my mum got a train there on Monday and she came home yesterday. The rest of us couldn't go as my brother has school and me, my bf and stepdad all work. I'm hoping to be able to see her very soon.

Its been awhile since I've had a very bad week in mental health terms,, and honestly, I'm not 100% yet. I've cried a lot and drank a lot, i had a lot of overtime last week too. I really hoped working would help me take my mind off things but unfortunately its been very quiet in the store, so i was thinking about loads of things more than anything. I haven't went outside a lot either which deeply saddened me. I was doing so good with leaving the house but i basically shut myself in again, which led to a few arguments between me and the boyfriend. We are all good though. Its also been super hot in the uk so i had 3 nights in a row where i didn't sleep until like 4am/5am.

I've basically just moped around for a week straight and I'm really hoping i can start fresh again now. I really want a big change, something that i can be proud of and i think it will be completely changing my room lol. I want to make my room MY room, which is hard since my boyfriend lives with me so i have to try and split it into something that makes us both happy. I really hate being depressive, it makes me feel gross and icky about myself. If i mope for too long ill just spiral again so I'm trying to pick myself back up again. I might go for a walk after work tmrow, my manager asked me to work 11am-8pm but hell naw. Tomorrow I'm just going to make myself feel really pretty, come home from work, put on some cute clothes and just walk. Ill have a nice cup of tea when I'm home and read. Brighter days are coming and i cant wait for that. I just need to get a grip.

Anyway, its nearly time to sleep. I'm going to go get a grip now, thanks for reading!