Online Boyfriend Problems; Need Advice

[ Before any of you guys comment, please keep the following in mind: ]

No, I am not being groomed, nor am I being pressured into anything. 

This is a consensual relationship that I voluntarily chose to participate in, primarily because this boy makes me happy. I only put the ages in purely to give context on my situation to hopefully receive more accurate feedback. It is in nobody's choice who I end up attracted to.

In addition, while inceldom is mentioned in this post as a factor for our relationship, this is not a place to be comparing us to Andrew Tate fangirls (fyi: neither me or boyfriend associate with those obsessed freaks, but that's unrelated to this post)

I will turn the comments off and/or private this post for archive purposes if anyone tries to derail the conversation or start any fights because of these reasons. 

I'm only wanting advice on how to deal with ghosting (elaborated further in this post.)

Please be respectful about your responses.

Thank you.

Also yes, I did write this in the 4chan greentext format, because why the hell not? 

> be me (18/female/used to be an incel up until a month ago when this whole thing started)

> Meets this guy on discord (30/male/also former incel)

> We chat for a bit, mainly talking about our experiences with inceldom, and he relates to me (and vise versa).

> He asks me out, and I accept (despite disliking online relationships due to the lack of intimacy and commitment. This is important for later)

> We're now a couple! [yippee]

> He's the sweetest guy in the world. He actually understands me, he's honest about how he feels about me, he doesn't shame me for my hypersexuality or my BPD traits, he tries his best to keep contact with me anyway he can... 

> he's basically my ideal boyfriend (and the boyfriend that anyone would want, really), and I'm over the moon for him. Thinking about him all day, getting excited when he texts back, talking with him for hours... 

> The only thing that's missing is the physical affection

> I think about going on a date with him in person

> I talk to boyfriend about good date ideas, and he suggests we go on a date in a park downtown

> We begin discussing how we're gonna get around, what we might do on this date, etc., and I decide that I'm gonna get a bus pass so that I can get a ride to our meetup spot (yet to be decided)

> Our relationship goes on like usual

> I eventually begin to grow distant from him, not even sure why

> He begins to get worried and asks if I'm okay

> I say I'm fine, and try to reassure him that it's not his fault (becuase I know it's not his fault)

> Texts between me and boyfriend slowly become more dry (even though he didn't do anything to make me split from him)

>  I begin thinking about past crush (36, turning 37 next week/male/state of celibacy is unknown), which further worsens the distance between me and boyfriend

>I feel guilty about it and tell boyfriend about the crush (he's okay with it as long as I don't try to pursue a relationship with crush, which I don't plan to luckily)

> Texts become more dry

> Eventually my parents find out that I want to meet someone (they don't know that it's with boyfriend) and get extremely suspicious, confronting me about it

> They refuse to buy me a bus pass untill they figure out who this person is (they still haven't luckily)

> I stop responding to boyfriend's texts, and mute him on every single platform, all because I know I'll never get to see him now that my parents know about it

> I think about ending the relationship knowing that it will never get anywhere past an online relationship

> At the same time, I don't have the heart to break up with him. He's basically everything I want in a partner, and I'm sure he'd be devastated if I left, especially with the way that he's implying that he thinks he did something to hurt me. I refuse to cheat on him for the same reason

> So I basically can't do anything but mute him and hope he's eventually able to move on and forget about me (I'm used to this kind of ending by now)

> Eventually I begin to miss him, and feel bad for ignoring him, yet I'm unsure if I should text him back or what to tell him.

Should I let him down slowly or stay with him, or do I continue ignoring him?

UPDATE (June 29th, 2025)

I finally spoke to him, and we've made the decision to break up and stay friends until I get the opportunity to go on a date with him in-person. 

I have no idea how I'm gonna cope with it, but I just hope this doesn't impact him too much, and that if I never get to meet him that he'll find someone that can actually be there for him.