its been over a year huh

I made all of my old entries public, they were all diary entries before, but idk, i just sorta dont care much.

A lot has happened. Was hospitalised last summer. Graduated. Got broken up with. Got a borderline-illegal job. Had a thing going on with a former copatient (aka we would get drunk and make out). Tried to get in an art uni and failed.

Started drinking a lot. It goes dormant for a couple weeks, but then i get drunk on hard liquor for almost a week straight. I dont have friends. Lost em (2 whole friends) in the break up. I sometimes try to make friends online or hit up someone on grindr, but the moment we actually get a good convo going, i start feeling absolutely repulsed.

Well, there is this one person that I have hung out twice with so far. Theyre really fun to talk to, but they also make me cringe sometimes.

i have good days sometimes. most of them are mediocre at best. i hate where i am in life right now and i feel overwhelmed by the things i could and should do to get back on my feet.

im also pretty sure my therapist doesnt like me anymore. i barely visit him now and have just generally grown bitter and talk back and shit. but when you think about it, i probably deserve all this.

i rlly wanna make a neoticies site, but i dont have enough free time outside of work to work on it