the sky is empty

I cant take It anymore. Living is too hard and there is so much suffering, i cant take It anymore. I feel like i am living in a cold and torturing nighmare. Everyday gets worse.

I look to the sky but its empty, no one is coming to rescue me. I dont have a lap to cry, I dont have anything. When I find someting that can distract me from the nighmare, I grab it with everything I have so I can forget the nighmare I am inside.

It happens with games, but also with people. When I find someone whos able to bring me peace in the nighmare, I want to spend most of my time with that person, but I know its tiring to him. It's sad, knowing that no matter how important I am to this person, he will always be more important to me than I am to him, because of the situation of despair I live in.

If I continue to follow this path, which I have been on for so many years, the next time wont be far away. And I will not fail. If you are reading this, thank you for listening to me.

With love, nana