worst f#####g day what is wrong with me can anyone tell me what is wrong with me i f#####g can't do it anymore

(read 2 posts before please its very and very important)

there was one guy that was a little toxic to me

he grabbed my hat and didn't want to give it back even after i asked him

i started to try return it back but by accident we throwed fists a bit

it was not that serious, but my white hat's dirty now

so after everything stopped i was peacefully sitting alone, some girls (there was 4 of them) come to me and said: can you beatbox smthn?

i mean they seen how i did it and they wanted to see again

then i showed more and more talents, did a little entertainment for them, and they actually liked me

then one girl literally just spilled water on my face on purpose just to have fun

my head was all wet and my sweater was a little wet too

i was upset and i leaved them, then just was sitting in a corner (alone)

one good and kind guy that seems to have a high priority in the group came up to me, and said

"did they was bullying you?"

well, i mean they laughed at me and shit so kinda yes kinda no but does he actually care abt my feelings?

even if so, im kind and i dont want to make problems to someone, because if he will know that he will warn/mute them in the group

so i just said "nevermind, its ok, just forget it man"

then they wanted to sorry and said "you're not offended by us, are you?"

i said the same, that im not

everything was ok

then they suddenly said "we want to go for a walk for a little bit, but without you"

i was like, well ok

then my smart watch vibrated and i see these notification

"warn @mynickname

rule 2.2"

"mute @mynickname

1 day

rule 2.2"

(the rule 2.2 of the chat was not to create conflicts)

HELLO? WHAT THE FUCK I SUPPOSED TO DO IF SOMEONES STEALS MY HAT AND THEN KICKING IN AND THROW IT ON WET DIRT?

i was very pissed off by this because this guy started it and i was just trying to get my hat back

i was also pissed off because im 90% sure it was them (i dont know the person that muted and warned me)

i came up to that good and kind guy and said what's that?

he said that i got muted and warned for making conflicts

i said that this is not logical, this guy started it all

after short and nonsense convo i just said

"fuck it" and just walked home, and got laughs on my back.

AND THAT HAPPENDS ALWAYS.

IM NOT WELCOMED ALMOST IN EVERY GROUP.

IM ALWAYS TOO MUCH.

IM ALWAYS THE CLOWN.

IM ALWAYS THE FUNNIEST.

i fucking can't. im sitting in a bus texting all this with a straight face heading to my home while im trying my best to not fucking lose it all and cry

can anybody tell me what is wrong with me