To an ex friend

I feel conflicted about the platonic breakup. Like you were being very respectful about it and you told me your perspective on it, and I can't help but see your point and respect your point of view. 

It's not that I'll miss you, I mean we did have some good times but I really didn't see us being "tight-knit" y'know. 

No my problem is why you left. I respect if someone doesn't want to be involved around drugs and people who use. But I just felt low-key insulted. I didn't want to be defensive because 1. defensiveness for drugs is for addicts and 2. I still understand that some people including you just don't want to be in close proximity to substances.

But, dude, I never stuck needles in myself in front of you, I never even did any substances in front of you except the weed we smoked together (I wanna mention later) and I never peer pressured you to do any of these things with me. The same way people don't pressure me to drink, I didn't pressure you to do pills, and I thought the same way I still have fun while others drink we could have fun without them (because I still wouldn't want to do them by myself in front of someone else) 

And is that what I was to you? a junkie? an addict? someone twitching for another hit? Because it's not true, man. I view drugs as like a weekend treat, a fun thing to do with my friends from time to time. The same way dudes can go drink together or friends can go smoke weed together, sometimes I enjoy being with my partner and taking Adderall (for instance). I don't do pills alone, everyday, all the time, and I am very much able to function without them. 

I've viewed drugs as treats, basically. Not something to depend on. And it feels unfair that I'm being perceived as someone who just does drugs and nothing else. It's hurtful. And if you can't share this neutral perspective on drugs than I don't think we would've been good friends for long anyway. 

And listen, I still understand the fear of drugs, maybe you lost someone to them, ik I did too, I'm sure a lot of people have. But our views are them are simply too different. I'd rather not be friends with someone who judges so harshly. 

judge me when I'm 70 pounds and fused to the floor.