I MIGHT have a problem with alcohol

So I'm writing this drunk (no one is surprised considering the title) and yea... I might be drinking too much.

I drink since I was 16. It's not legal in my county, but also not that surprising, since I'm slavic. Alcohol always was a big part of my life - whole family form my dads sides drink definitely too much. I'm not surprised I ended up like this tbh.

Majority of times I meet up with my friends we get REALLY drunk. Sometimes I wonder if we can even handle ourselves sober.

But I like being drunk. I struggle with undiagnosed issues, and alcohol really makes it easier for me. Every time I drink I think about how much human interaction I can get - because sober I'm so socially anxious.

If vodka wasn't so expensive I'd be an alcoholic already. I wish my meds worked better, but oh well, the only thing keeping me alive is the thought when I'll drink again (mind you, most of the times is once a month, I don't have THAT bog of a problem)