Vent

The last few days have been very confusing for me. My mother started to not like my main therapist bc she "says exactly what i want to hear" (I dont want to elaborate on that bc of personal reasons). Thats why I have changed to a different therapist and the first session was ok i guess i talked again about what my problems are just like i do everytime i meet a new psychologist or something. Its quite annoying but its no big deal anymore. Today after I came from school my mother told me that I wont continue with the last therapist. Of course I was very confused and she told me that the therapist isnt ready for somebody like me. I already noticed that she didnt knew how to react when I started hitting myself and she said that that scared her but I thought she was a therapist yk and that she could handle it. Idk i feel like i dont know what to do anymore bc everything i do seems to make things worse. Ive also been thinking a lot more about suicide bc of this even tho i take medication. 

Ill just try to survive a bit more until I get back to germany.