Bed

We got together on valentines day. I had already made plans to move in with her before a month ago. Those 3 months were magical. Moving out, spending all day cuddling in the puppy bed, being by her side. Truly a moment of bliss. We had some hiccups during that relationship, ones I did not know how to resolve. Our roommate did though, She's been affectionate towards them through out the relationship. I didn't mind, nothing beyond cuddles with them so it was okay with me. They knew her well and for a longer time than me so they knew how to comfort her. They did feel bad throughout the relationship I had with her. 

5/19, We took a break from dating cos we took things too fast and she had mental break downs I did not know how to comfort. Unknowing to me, it would the end of the relationship a week later. The break kept me grounded to reality, the delusion of being in a relationship, even a break, kept me sane. It was mutual, to be independent and focus on ourselves, she assured me that she still had my back and would keep me safe. The night she broke up with me, she asked to have the puppy bed to tend to them during a breakdown they were having. We spent less time in each other's presence. less and less cuddles, I spent countless night alone on the sleeper couch in my room. She had given them more and more affection, sometime I'd find out what they did in bed in the morning, those two would sleep together, cuddle together, tend to each other. I stayed in my room during all of that. Each day that passes I feel more and more replaced. It's fine though, They've known Her far longer and have a deeper connection I could ever. Maybe Love isn't for me, maybe I'm temporary, someone to rebound off of. I've spent many hours isolated crying on the floor in my room, I don't expect her to tend to me, She doesn't owe me that so I have to be independent. Maybe I should take myself out of the picture for the two of them, nowhere I belong. I could starve, go out in the night and let the woods take me. Nobody would miss me.