I say I don't care but I do

I say I don't care about what you do daily but yet here I am stalking you seeing what your doing . When I told your current girl that you drunk texted me at the time I genuinely didn't care and I wasn't trying to break you two up , I could care less tbh . But why do I care now ? I seen you met her in person and aren't online now , why does this bother me so much when you aren't mines you'll never be mines again . Yet in the back of my head I reply how you told me "when we both have our life together we could be a happy couple I'm sure " it keep replaying over and over again but why ? I don't want you at all . I don't need you . Never did need you I just craved you but if I didn't need you why do I continue to be a stalker or to see if your ok as if your still mines . After the whole stream where you lied about who I am as a person and legit ruined my life making fake allegations after alllll that I'm still flattered , don't even think that's the right word more so intrigued and yearned over you if that makes sense. Somehow all of this has drawn me more interested in you . 

I say I hate sim as well considering he did technically groom me but I feel helpless around him or hearing from him or just in gen hearing his name brought up , it almost like triggers something in me to make me want him . Both sim and Nasir made me hate myself and made me overlook myself as a person but I think that's what keeps me drawn in especially for sim , I got treated like I wasn't human with him but oddly I enjoyed that in a weird way . I always check to see if sim posted as well , he doesn't seem to ever post so it's a little hard to tell what he's doing but I a post on twitter that supposedly he has a gf now as well , makes sense as to why he ghosted me and hated me after everything.