Psychosis

Every couple of years is a repeat of the last couple of years in my grief stricken life, I'm stuck in a terribly long routine of trying to find "my place" in the world even though there was no place for me to begin with. This world feels imbalanced with me in it somehow, but how would I know. Three days ago I had a psychotic episode, caused by a terrible existential panic attack. I don't remember how I got in certain places, but very vividly remember what my brain suggested me to do next. I managed to survive myself.