False hopes are proofs that reality is boring

Oh no I hoped that the teacher will not come to class so I'll have more time to doom scroll and get blamed, they will show up, take twenty minutes to connect the devices then start teaching, this is new right! I normally don't write about school, I don't find it interesting enough, but here I am writing a bit about it! If we didn't have hope or expectations for things, the world would be very exciting! Makes it sound like I want to not think, so when something happens, it will be new for me! Not really, I can't just let go, I don't have much distractions compared to other people, I assume, I don't have friends to talk trash with and forget things! I meant the ones in real life, one that I can turn to at any time, one that will give me a reason to stay, I've forgot what the feeling is like! Now I just go overreacting whenever someone talks to me in a polite manner, they seem to suspect me a lot more then the others they just assume that I'm gonna be a bad person just because I don't talk!