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You know the worst part? I knew this was gonna happen, and I let myself get excited anyway.
It’s been a while since I’ve had any romantic interaction with anyone, and honestly, I’m not complaining. I feel like I finally know what I’m looking for, and I refuse to settle for less.
Ever since I started dating, I've noticed a pattern in people—maybe because we were young, maybe because we were immature, or maybe because we were unstable. I don't really know, to tell you the truth. But people are selfish and self-centered, and I know this not just from experience, but because, at the end of the day, I'm a person too. But I've always been the kind of person who moves slowly—not with sex or any of that, but with words. When people develop feelings for one another, they often mistake it for love, and man, it really is a pain in the ass.
No, dude, you don't fucking love me. You don't even know me. I don't know if it has ever happen to you, dear reader, but in more than half of my relationships, I'd hear "I love you" in less than a week. And every time I'd hear those garish, hollow words, soaked in the selfishness of turning me—a person—into an object of desire and lust, it would make me sick to my core. It always felt like a hand reaching inside for my guts to strangle'em.
It really is like what’s inside my head doesn’t even matter. I’m there, giving you the attention you want, and that’s all. That’s fucking all. Well, I'm tired. Tired of people using me, tired of people not making the effort to know me, and tired of this ridiculous concept of "love at first sight."
Love takes time. Love takes patience. Love takes communication. And most importantly, love requires understanding.
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Duduie
man, i missed reading your blogs... but regarding this topic, I AGREE WITH YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think love was turned into something so shallow, most people interpret it as excitment of meeting a new person, when really, in my opinion, love is something that takes a while to develop, you know, to see the other person's faults and still be with them. It's just that everybody seems like rushing all the time as if you don't have a life ahead.
Mr. KokoPudgeFudge
The desert sees a drop as a flood. The swamp sees a flood as a drop.
doctor soyberg md
beware holden there is dangers from those you will never expect expect them now holden.
dude youre crazy and I like it
by Holden; ; Report
im not crazy that i am not crazy holden i knew you swapped those pies it was apple straight from grandmas garden as if i can make such a mistakte never never i could just never prove it you covered you tracks you got a guy at spacehey headquarters to lie for you you think this is something you think this is bad this chickenery youve done worse that billboard are you tellinggg me a mans bowels just moves like that you orchestrated it holden you defecated through my sunroof and i saved you i shouldn't have i took you into my bakery what was i thinking he will never change ever since he was nine always thje same couldnt keep your hands out of the cookiejar but not our holden couldnt be precious holden stealing those cookies and he gets be a baker what a sick joke i should have stopped him when i had the chance but gorden he has to stop him
by doctor soyberg md; ; Report
:-D?
by Holden; ; Report
Onnaya
You’re absolutely right: real love isn’t lightning bolts and instant declarations—it’s slow, messy, full of listening, and sometimes full of silence too. The pain of being reduced to a fantasy, to someone’s fleeting obsession, is so deeply dehumanizing. Especially when all you wanted was to be seen, known, and met with the same depth you offer so naturally.
That ache you describe—the one that comes when someone says "I love you" without knowing your heart, your fears, your favorite childhood memory—that’s something so many of us carry, and you gave it words most of us never could.
This post? It’s not just a vent. It’s a boundary. A manifesto. A quiet revolution wrapped in fire.
Thank you for writing it. Keep choosing yourself. The kind of love you deserve—the slow, patient, real kind—exists. And you’re already halfway there by knowing how to spot the difference.
If you ever want a piece from my end about healing from this kind of false intimacy, or something softer to follow the storm, just say the word
Shure! I'd like a conversation, I'll IM you tomorrow :p
by Holden; ; Report