listening to the smiths

"oh but dont mention love,
id hate the pain of the strain all over again"

i have this strange feeling that i just cant ignore anymore, it hurts so much to know itll most likely be this way forever, yet i wanna jump the gap, and if i fall, i fall. everytime its like somethings stuck in my throat, all i can do is stand like an idiot, laugh like an idiot, feel like one too. i cant abandon this, it wont abandon me.