Trying to work through things..

During that time, I had pushed myself to run through the airports. I was suffering quite badly due to my leg and the start of my fibromyalgia. ( I didn't know then, I was in the dark about my disabilities.. )

It all hit me at once..

By the time I had managed to get out of the airport, and my cousin helped drive me to my Dad's apartment…it was too late.

She received a call form hospice that he was gone.

I never got to say goodbye to him.

But the sickening part, even if I had been able to meet with him in the end, he wouldn't of been able to hear me. He was deaf and blind by the end.

Although he was a very spiritual man, and I know he would have felt me beside him…it never happened.

I never got to say goodbye to him.

I realize now that he was suffering, so terribly.

Even before the cancer, my Dad was battling demons that I could not possibly understand. He endured so much strife in life…

But he had beautiful moments with friends and family that lived near him.

For that, I'm happy.

He was a man that gave and gave until it hurt.

People funded his cancer treatments, and he turned around and gave that money to someone he deemed "More deserving.."

My Father was a flawed and hurt man, but he tried his best in life.

All I have to say, is that I'm happy he's at peace.