GRADUATIONNNNN

I GRADUATEDDDDDDD!!!  

I literally don't know what else to say. I could say the usual "I did it" and cry to my teachers, but I won't and I didn't. I didn't cry, but that's perfectly fine. Honestly, I'm one of the people that sighed once it was over. I despised being in those buildings for all of my life this far. I had a few great teachers and friends, but for the most part, none of those memories were ones I would like to keep.

That aside, my feet HURT. I wore heels I tripped in at least twice, wore a long dress, and the migraine after could put me in a coma. But the second I tossed my hat? It felt real. I don't need to stay up late writing essays or finishing up work I procrastinated on. I don't need to keep my head down or cry out of stress. I'm not in school anymore. I can be an adult, which isn't much of an upgrade considering the hell that it currently is. 

I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far. At twelve, I was making promises that I wouldn't make it to thirteen. At thirteen, I was hoping I wouldn't be here to see eighteen. At eighteen, I'm graduating and waiting for my birthday next month. It's an odd feeling and the absolute worst trying to figure out what to do with a life you were so sure wasn't going to exist eventually. In the end, I made it. My cap is missing in that coliseum and I shed no tears about moving forward, but I made it.

I have very few plans now that it's over. Money for caretaking is great though. I start Monday next week and I couldn't be happier. For once I feel calm. That weight that made my happiness a burden and made my depression a home is gone now. I guess what I want to do first is sleep. Not permanently. I just want to sleep knowing that I don't need to get up at 5:30 or freak out after waking up at 7:00. I can actually sleep now and it feels like peace.

I'd post a ton of pictures, but I'm exhausted and I can't get it to work so uh yeah. If you read this, I hope your night or day is kind to you. I hope every worry you tell to the moon or sun is lifted off your shoulders. I wish the best for the class of 2025 and for all those to come. <33