talk, then think or was it backwards?

i don't even know why, but sometimes when I'm talking at the same time in my mind there's a voice that's listening to all and keeps telling me what did i just say. it's so weird , is that me being too self conscious? 

whatever

these days I've improving on being more spoken? like ive tried for the longest to keep my mouth shut and not say a thing when something's bothering me. but now... nah -ah. no more. and honestly i feel proud (i keep writing that in my physical diary whenever it happens lol), if i ever want to stand up for all mine i need to learn to stand myself. 

today was my last day on the contract, just for the record. I'm kinda anxious for what's gonna happen, but i know I'll find a way