Late night thoughts

"Because deep down, maybe it was safer in the distance, where it could exist as a dream rather than something real with complications."

When the sun goes to sleep and the moon rises to wish us sweet dreams, that's the time my brain decides to go all crazy—making up thoughts, reminding me of memories, creating stories, or maybe more like wishes to be fulfilled.

I have always been a morning person, even though it doesn't really seem like it. I remember myself as a child, getting all dressed up in my Scooby-Doo pajamas, all warm and cozy in my bed. No thought, no worry. Then I'd wake up the next morning, two hours before school, to eat cereal and watch Adventure Time or Steven Universe or Regular Show or whatever was on TV.

But now I just can't stop thinking, and it wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't have responsibilities and all. I really do love thinking, but I'd also love to wake up without feeling like hibernating. Many things have happened in my life lately, which already gives me a lot to think about, but my mind has decided it is time to open the vault and make me think about things I've avoided, too. Not trying to be melodramatic here—it's just some stuff that happened to me last year with some phonies. It hurt at the time, but now I'm more lightheaded.

Maaaaan, I hate socializing so much, but I hate not doing it even more. One leads me to mental insanity, and the other to extreme boredom. I went to a party down town with some colleagues from school and some other friends this weekend. I had a lot of fun, really. Some girl even gifted me a rose—I got so cheerful. It was the first time someone gave me a flower; it really was. I had so much fun that it left me wanting more, but it really wasn't about the party itself—it was more than that. In fact, it was so fun that now I'm kinda bored every time I have nothing to do. And that used to be the best time of the day—getting to lay all nice in bed and watch some cartoons or read 'til I fell asleep. Nevertheless, I got so bored today that I decided to fucking climb a mountain all the way up. You can't even imagine how lazy I got these last few months, and then today I go and climb a mountain.

This is starting to feel like a fresh start. I'm sure I'll figure everything out. Maybe.