2025.05.24

[2:15pm] HELLO WORLD!!!! today has been pretty chill so far. first i woke up and surfed Instagram for a while. then i took a shower but had to sit down again because for some reason standing make me queasy and it's especially worse in the shower for some reason. the bad thing about that is when i sit then my legs are closer to me and since they're exposed i just start picking at them which is not good. I've had a skin picking problem for a decade now and it just gets worse lol. whenever i go to the doctor, which is at least once a week at this point, they always ask about all the scabs and scars all over me. not very slay. i asked my therapist how to stop and she just keeps saying "its not that big of a deal, you don't need to stop." like yeah i know but i WANT to. 

anyways then i got dressed and ready for the day and hopped on my computer to do some math for college. they are having me do a ton of "learning modules" to "prepare for the math placement test" which is so annoying. plus its all stuff i learned in junior year, which was forever ago. but I've been working on it little by little for the past week or so and i finally finished and took the test! i got 97% on it which means I'm getting put in advanced math and don't need to take as many courses as other people :)) 

i also rescheduled my orientation and class choosing day AGAIN because my mom keeps messing up her schedule. hopefully this is the last time i need to change it though. we were originally gonna go on august 4th but my mom decided she's gonna swap work shift with her coworker so now she's working then, and then we were gonna do august 8th but then she realized we're going on vacation to see an Enhypen concert then, so now we're trying to go on the 7th. the thing is that every time we change we have to pay $95 and go through some paperwork process, which i don't think she fully registers because I've been doing it all for her. 

then i was gonna go take my dog down to the creek, but there's a tornado warning today so it's probably best not to go too far. then i was gonna go draw out on the deck, but it's pretty windy so i had to put all our chairs and stuff away so they wouldn't get blown away again. so i went inside and watched Devils Plan while eating some Bibigo dumplings. my mom was complaining the whole time like "i don't understand this show and i don't find it entertaining" like?? im not watching this because i think you'll like it, im watching it because my friend recommended it and I like it. so after about half an hour of complaining she finally went to her room to take a nap.

the episodes are super long, like an hour at least. so now that im finally done, i came up here. i wanna draw but its not as fun when i have to do it inside with the window closed, so i think i might just play ronblox instead. 

also my test results from yesterday came back, and they say that i have a valve in my heart that isn't really working right and that i have some fluid in the sack that holds my heart. i don't really know if it's important or not though, because if it were then we would have gotten a call scheduling another appointment. maybe everyone has their own little heart defects and it's not that bad, idk. if anyone knows stuff on this pls lmk. 

also last night i was watching Dr House with my mom and again i accurately diagnosed the patient before House did hehe. my mom said i should be a medical professional and now im lowkey considering it bc all the reels i see on Instagram are medical-related and im always asking questions about random disorders and hypotheticals, but i think that all might just be from be being a chronically ill person and not a medical person, you know? anyways im gonna go play roblox now lol