i think i may be the problem

lokwey idk what it was i think after my ex gf i just lost interest in socializing... like dating made me realize some people R dumb as fuck. annoying as fuck. sometimes ugly as fuck..   99% of th time dating feels like a chore for me and friendships 2

i thought it was cuz of my npd/bpd clashing together but now idk not having a favorite/default person is so much more freeing i cn do wtv i want, even if thats nothing at all and not feel annoyed (anticipating an argument) for it. like i dont have to PERFORM a certain image all the time bc its literally just ME?. i dont overthink constantly about if anyone is losing interest in me. like why the fuck was i stressing over keeping everything good calm n copacetic in platonic friendships too bro no wonder i was so burnt out all the time

i think as i get older too i just dont have the same patience for people and their problems unless i feel like they have some value to me or purpose in my life n thats kinda shitty lol. the only time i rly talk to people is when i want to n its like hmmm is this healthy ? idk im happy tho! so

oh well  fuck it we ball