5/23/2025 stream of conciousness abt a former friend

i dont think anyone is really going to see this but like. dont go digging for these people. these arent their real names


i was friends with this guy snuffy for about ~2 years? and we'd just chat in the mutual discord server we were in and go back and forth on art trades and stuff and shoot the shit with our other friends , really basic shit in retrospect but it genuinely made me feel grounded. im still barely used to having friends at all but it was really nice to genuinely chat with him every day, it made my life feel fuller.

then abt late march-early april my friend maya texts me something to the extent of "hey, when was the last time you heard from snuffy? he's missing and his sister is trying to find out what happened and he hasnt been accounted for in (a week?)". my stomach sank into my shoes. i spent the rest of the day horribly frustrated i couldnt do anything and fearful that something had happened or that he'd gone and hurt himself. I dont really know how to describe the exact feeling of what happened next but like, that evening the news i received was somehow worse than anything i could have ever expected.

everything that he ever said or told us was a complete lie. pure fiction. he is a pathological liar and every pillar of his identity was fabricated.

but he was alive, at least, they didnt know where he was, but he was alive.

i still have kind of a poor understanding of the full extent of what happened but like, hes lied about his age multiple times (hes 23), joined servers populated mostly by like, 14yos and pretended to be the same age. this + the revelation that he'd drawn art of his 40yo self insert character having sex with minors is like, deeply disturbing to me. this is the most egregious shit hes done i believe (as of writing) but his lies still extend way beyond whats normal or acceptable. snuffy had never told us he was a trans man, which doesnt really matter to me, (im trans and i dont openly like to present that super often just because i dont wanna be tokenized, this fact presented alone does not matter to me, like at all.), but he'd gone around showing his "baby photos" which were his also trans sister, pre transition at like, age 4? which just completely baffles me and makes me mad because genuinely what is the gain from that. it just makes him look like a fuckin psycho. i also gather that he lied to a lot of his other friends to get them all to send him money and stuff like right before this all went down. he'd also complain somewhat openly about e-stalkers and somewhat frequently make new accounts, which is still something i have a hard time parsing on if it was true or not? its a serious allegation and i dont want to outwardly say "thats a lie too" but idk, given the other shit and his tendency to just, make shit up for no real personal gain is worrying.

so getting these two pieces of information at the same time really fucked me up. snuffy was a genuine light in my life and i liked talking to him a lot, but now i cant even tell what was real. i dont know if he ever even liked any of us. i shouldnt have to be wondering this, my other friends shouldnt. what the fuck is wrong with this guy to just do this to us.

i keep finding old accounts of his and that just sort of puts everything into perspective. ive found like a bunch of his old alts and stuff from just incredibly basic google searches and it just reads like he keeps running away from the stupid and shitty things he does to people. i found an account he created in the middle of april, when we still didnt know his exact location ( not that it really mattered to us anyways. ) , posting as recent as this week. it just makes me angry. my trust has been taken advantage of. i feel like i invited a vampire into my home. i dont know if this is going to put a target on my back now that im posting about it on a forum that can be googled easily. i just needed to put it somewhere that's not in my immediate circle. hes proven capable of making new accounts so i really wouldnt find it out of character for him to make a bunch of sockpuppet accounts to tell me to kill myself or whatever. i never expect for him to contact me again meaningfully but sometimes i think about what i'd say to him. i would've asked "how much of it was actually genuine" before this week but i think right now im torn between telling him "get help" or "get bent".

i wouldnt wish the kind of emotional turmoil this has put me through on my worst enemy

9:08pm friday may 23rd 2025
shae