Just some things

I am GENUINELY exhausted. This isn't a vent or anything, but I literally cannot get out of bed unless I'm forced to. All I do is lay here all day feeling useless but overworked any time I'm asked to do something. I want to do SOMETHING, but at the same time? I don't want to do anything.

School is exhausting. When I manage to stop failing one class, I'm somehow failing another. I feel like I'll never be good enough for anything. I don't even have a hard goal for school, I just need to maintain a C-. Not hard, right? Well it feels impossible. I'm doing my best, I am, I promise.

I miss my friends. I feel like I'm falling apart from them and I don't want that to happen, I NEED them. They're the only one's I actually want to live for. 

I don't want to be home. I want to be anywhere but home. I rather be dead than be here at this point. I can't take too much more of this

I had a crush, I thought she was the best person ever. I loved her. For 2 months, I loved everything about her. I didn't care about her flaws, I just wanted her to notice me. Now, I'm trying to hate her, to not let her mess with my emotions like she did for those two months. But I can't. I can't hate her when all I want to do is kiss her and hold her and talk together. I want her to like me, but I don't think she knows I like her, even though I've been blunt about it. She thinks it's a joke. It's not a joke. Why won't she love me? What's wrong with me?

Anyway, thanks if you read this whole rant. Just needed to get this out and NOT rant to my friends again before they decide that they hate me. Bye bye!!! <33