What the heck man, My thoughts. /2

Vent.

I am so frustrated right now. I am so isolated and it’s sucks but at the same time it’s so very rare to find people who don’t suck or at least don’t get on my nerves. Maybe that’s why people don’t like me, it’s not like I’m rude, I’m always so kind, in fact up in till 2-3 months ago I was somewhat to nice, to forgiving. But maybe it’s because I’m such a downer, maybe they can tell even if I try not to be, who knows really, people like to fade away instead of having a mature conversation on what we can both improve. So stupid. I’ve always been rather isolated but now I’m also isolated online, how odd. I can’t make up my mind on if I like the isolation. Most people suck but surely there’s some that don’t. I want friends, maybe I even want a partner though I’m quite unsure about that. Anyways, I am so unsure of what to do. I have done everything I can online but no one is noticing. I know I could be an amazing friend or whatever if I was only given the chance, and tbh, the time to learn about them so I know they are worth my energy. I am not going to be a therapist to an ungrateful mutt again. That’s harsh, I don’t truely mean that because I still care deeply for the mutt. Anyways that’s unrelated, I am just to tired to put so much effort into someone who won’t appreciate it. So I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know what to change. Even so, I don’t want to change myself anymore, I’ve done it for so long. That’s why I distanced myself so that I could go be my true self somewhere. I am just still looking for that place, that’s all. Yeah. It’s fine. Ugh. This is so cringe. I am not used to being so open but I needed to get it out. Unrelated but I broke my fast at 47 hours because my father bought me food, it wasn’t much but I’m still frustrated about breaking my fast as well. It was nice though. Anyways, that’s all for now.