Why the song “Happy” by Mitski is about SA - A short Essay

Just a pre-essay warning? Mentions of sa?? if it wasnt obvious and I AM FINE I AM OKAY I JUST LOVE MITSKI

The first line:

Happy came to visit me, he bought cookies on the way

I poured him tea, and he told me, "It'll all be okay"

It sets us up to tell her story. Happy does not live there already, it is personified for the purpose of comprehending the events in the song.

Well, I told him I'd do anything to have him stay with me

This shows us the mindset she is in. Willing to do anything to have “Happy” stay with her, including sex.

So he laid me down, and I felt happy come inside of me
He laid me down, and I felt happy

She gave him what he wanted and that made her happy, for the short amount of time that they laid together she felt loved and cared for, his tender embrace reached its peak as she “felt happy come inside of [her]”. Both figurative and literal.

Sex, especially in the western world is something that holds little to no value. However, sex is one of the highest forms of intimacy. Not only by far, but one of the strongest. The act is meant to be where two souls tie together and dance for a while. One’s mind is not in the same place it would be without these heightened emotions. She feels happiness as her assaulter is inside of her because of these emotions. She is vulnerable and has given him the one thing that he wanted in hopes of making him love her and stay with her.

Oh, if you're going, take the train
So I can hear it rumble, one last rumble

She needs something concrete, when you live near a train having it pass your home shakes you up deep in your soul. You feel it from your feet to your stomach and hear it ring through your ears. As he leaves, she needs to be sure that he is gone.

And when you go, take this heart
I'll make no more use of it when there's no more you

She is hopeless, helpless even. As her “Happy” is gone she has no more use for emotions. She gave it all up during their short encounter and she thinks she is content with that because that is all she was good for. She got her happy and all she felt she was useful for once “Happy” laid her down.

I was in the bathroom, I didn't hear him leave.

She knew he would leave, being in the bathroom ensures she does not have to face reality immediately.

I locked the door behind him, and I turned around to see
All the cookie wrappers and the empty cups of tea
Well, I sighed and mumbled to myself, "Again, I have to clean"
I sighed and mumbled to myself

He does not even care to clean up after himself. At this point, the verse’ refer to “Happy” as “Him” she does not associate him with the emotion of happiness as much as she is faced with reality once he leaves. She must clean once again and he does not even attempt to speak to or address her he simply leaves. Leaves her to sigh and mumble to herself.

If you're going, take the train
So I can hear it rumble, one last rumble
And when you go, take this heart
I'll make no more use of it when there's no more you

Still, she needs to feel it in the souls of her feet that “He” is gone.

And if you're going, take the moon

Then, maybe I will see you; in the night, I'll see you

I don’t know, I’m truly unsure. In the darkness, the cover of night where nobody genuinely wants to see that’s where happiness is. In the unseen parts of our souls, we find it.

And when you go, take this heart
I'll make no more use of it when there's no more you

Still, as you go I have no need for basic emotions as you were the epitome of my happiness.

I feel as though the reason I said yes was to make her happy and I felt I would be viewed as equal, as she laid me down I felt happy? I felt happy? Or I told myself this was happy. I knew I should yell stop but I didn’t because all I wanted was “Happy” to come inside of me. Yet when it left I realized there was nothing but a mess in its wake.