religion and such

i went for a job interview today and they asked me a lot of questions on my personal beliefs. when i finished talking the guy asked me if i believed in god, to which i said no. he was like "huh. thats surprising. a lot of your beliefs seem to align very closely with religion"

that's a little surprising to me! i view myself as a pretty godless person (as any traumatised disaster loser in her 20s might well be) but then i thought about it and i was like hmm yeah maybe. i don't believe that "good" people exist, only "better" people. i think you will be destined to hurt people and make horrendous mistakes in your life because you are only human at the end of the day. i believe in redemption because i have no choice but to do so or else the world will be a horrible and evil place. 

I didn't tell them this, but i think everyone has a little bit of a miracle in them. it's like they were made with so many facets and grit and stupidity and evil and beauty and kindness that i have to marvel at it. i don't know if god thinks so too, but i certainly do. I don't know, it's just something a little interesting that i was thinking about today.

sometimes i wish i was religious, i think it would be fun. the only thing i truly believe in is other people. i think that's where god is hiding.